I Never Want That to Change
by whateverkillsyourcaterpillar
Summary: They were going to dinner when she saw Caleb talking to another girl and suddenly everything Alison had taught her was back and she was knelt on the bathroom floor. When Caleb finds out he tries to help her through it. Angsty Haleb fic.


**TRIGGER WARNING- EATING DISORDER**

She had seen him at the bar, talking to a tall, brunette hourglass, and all of a sudden the sleeveless black dress she had on was a little too tight, and a little too short. All of her confidence slowly seeped out of her, she turned on her heel and got back in the elevator, returning to the room they had rented.

She knew she shouldn't but as soon as she had knelt on the ground in front of the toilet, on the cold tile floor she felt at home. As she purged her body of the lunch she felt was too much, she felt a bit more confidant.

Hanna brushed her teeth and fluffed her curls, touching up her makeup where the tears had rolled down her face. She slipped her heels back on, and headed to the elevator like it was the first time she had tonight. When the doors opened he was waiting, staring patiently at the doors that revealed her.

She saw the sparkle in Caleb's eyes when she stepped out; love and admiration emanating from him. He walked to her, lips pressing together with as much passion as he could use in the hotel lobby, but when his arms wrapped around her waist, he noticed her tense- Hanna had never been uncomfortable with Caleb's arms wrapped around her.

He pulled back from her with his head tilted, in an unspoken, "what's wrong." She shook her head with a smile to cover up what she had just done, and turned to lead them to the restaurant. Caleb made a note in his head to ask her what was bothering her later.

They sat at the table one of their hands laying across it, laced with the other's, as they ate their dinner. She could only eat a couple bites of dessert before he led her back to their room. As soon as he closed the door to their suite he had her back pressed against it, exploring her mouth with his tongue, bringing their joined hands above her head and pinning them against the door.

Her hips bucked against his. Caleb used his hand that wasn't pinning her to the door to grab her thigh and pull it over his hip. She jumped up with her other leg and wrapped them around his waist as he easily walked them to the bed, mouths still intertwined, Hanna's hands locked tight in his hair.

He released her lips long enough to strip her of her dress, leaving her in a bra and panties. She pulled at the buttons on his shirt, trying to resist the urge to rip it open. She unbuttoned his pants and slid them down his legs with her feet. Caleb used one hand arch her back off the bed and the other to swiftly unhook her bra and toss it to the side.

He kissed his way down her body, sucking on each nipple as he made his way down. He pulled her panties down as he laid kisses across her ribs. He felt her tense again when his lips made their way to her stomach, he ignored it for now and doubled his efforts, finally making it to her clean trimmed pussy.

He sucked on her clit eliciting a high pitched moan from her. Caleb pulled her thighs over his shoulders and slid his arms over the top of her hips, keeping her where he wanted her as his tongue explored her.

Hanna's hands were curled in his hair and her feet were pressed into his back. Her moans got louder and her hands tighter in his hair, pulling a moan from him. He continued his ministrations on her wet pussy his tongue sliding inside her then pulling out and licking around her clit. Her moans were turning into quiet screams and her back was arching off of the bed as much as she could with her hips under his hands.

She screamed his name as she came. Hanna's thighs that were tight around Caleb's head were lightly draped over his shoulders and her hands were slack in his hair. He dragged his tongue over her pussy, licking up her juices and lapping at her overstimulated clit, causing her to shudder and him to tighten his grip on her hips as he cleaned her up.

She tugged at his hair, pulling him up to her lips. His kiss tasted like her. Hanna slipped her tongue into his mouth, licking her juices from his mouth. She flipped them, still sucking on his bottom lip.

She pulled away and straddled his hips, holding her pussy right above his cock. She sank down onto him and threw her head back moaning. Caleb tightened his grip on her hips, pulling her all the way down, their pelvis's meeting. The room was filled with his deep groans and her quiet moans.

Caleb's hands slid up her back, holding her tight he flipped her to her back, still inside her. He slid his hands out across her arms, lacing their fingers together he pulled them to the sides of her head, effectively pinning her under him.

His lips met her jaw and he sucked on the spot under ear while he thrust inside her. Hanna screamed Caleb's name as his cock pounded into her. She pulled her legs up to wrap around his waist giving him an all new angle to slam his cock deep into her.

He brought his lips back to hers after leaving love bites along her collarbone. Caleb continued to pound into Hanna making her arch into him screaming his name. Her vocalization was arousing him even more, making him thrust faster into her. He released one of her hands and brought it down between them to rub circles on her clit.

Her free hand was scratching down his back, making his kisses more passionate and his thrusts harder. With one more thrust and his fingers on his clit she came gasping his name. Her walls tightened around him pulling his orgasm from him. He pulled her lips to him as he came inside her, muffling the scream from his mouth.

They pulled apart gasping as he slid from inside her. He placed open mouthed kisses on her chest as she laid still panting for air. Hanna ran her hands across his back, just feeling him under his fingers.

He slid back up and placed a last kiss on her lips before laying down next to her. She laid her head on his chest pressing her body against his side. Caleb drew shapes on her back, just watching it rise and fall with her breathing.

He decided it would be a good time to bring up the question that had been weighing on his mind since dinner; so he laid his hand across her body and landed on her hip, laying the rest of his arm across her stomach. Caleb felt her flinch under his touch solidifying his decision to ask her. "Hanna? What's wrong,"

"It's nothing, Caleb. Don't worry about it," she said, she was trying to pull away from him, get out from under his arm, but he sat up to look her in the eye and ask her again, "Hanna, please, something's wrong." She could see in her eyes that he was genuinely concerned, he was on the verge of having tears pooling in his eyes. Hanna took a deep breath, trying to summon all of the courage she could.

She couldn't look at him, she couldn't watch the disappointment she knew would be there cross his eyes.

"Caleb, I know I told you I had been to fat camp for a few summers, but I never told you the whole story. Alison, she helped me, I guess she helped, I mean I'm not _as fat_ as I was back then." Caleb caught the enunciation and drew his eyebrows together in confusion.

 _"_ _She's not fat now," he thought._

Hanna raised her eyes to meet the tilted head and caring, sympathetic eyes of her boyfriend.

"She taught me how to make myself throw up, Caleb!" She cried, tears starting to leak down his face. His jaw flexed in anger, not at her, but at her friend who she should have been able to trust, who shouldn't have shown her such destructive behavior.

"Hanna," Caleb whispered, the pain evident in his voice. "What brought this back, you've never flinched from me before."

Hanna sighed, she knew she had just overreacted, but they had promised each other 'no more secrets'. "I came down the elevator before you saw me," she started, "you were talking to a girl at the bar, a gorgeous girl, Caleb!"

By now the tears were streaming steadily down her face and were pooling in his with the knowledge that he had been the cause of this. "Han-",

"Caleb, I saw you talking to her", she interrupted, "and I know you could have anyone you wanted, you're smart and funny, and attractive, I just- I got scared. I came back here, grabbed my toothbrush, sat in front of the toilet, and-" She couldn't finish, he already knew what she was going to say.

He had tears falling from his eyes now, too, landing on his bare legs.

He took a deep breath, "Han-," she tried to interrupt him but he shook his head and brought his hand to the side of her face, brushing a few tears from her cheeks,

"Hanna, I love you; only you. The girl at the bar was nothing, she would never catch my eye like you did. She could never make me smile like you do, make me scream like you just did. Hanna, no one could ever make my life worth living like you do. You are the reason I get up in the morning. I love you more than anything in the world, Hanna, and I never want that to change.

She was sobbing now, his words drawing the tears from her. Her hand was wrapped in his, his free hand wiping away the tears that had been falling down his face, then back to hers to hold her face in his hands bringing it up for her eyes to meet his.

He stared at her, his soft gaze showing all of the love he had spoken of, "Hanna, you are beautiful, so incredibly beautiful. If you ever feel like that again, tell me. Let me know that I haven't reminded you of how beautiful you are or how much I love you."

She let a small smile show, show him the same love he had shown her. He leaned back down to her and let his lips gently brush against hers. He resituated himself above her body; he wrapped his arms around her waist and made his way down.

He placed light kisses across her stomach, across the area she felt wasn't good enough. He pulled her body tight to his face, her waist locked between his arms and his head. He closed his eyes willing the tears to go away. He felt guilty that a little conversation to kill time at a bar had caused his girlfriend such grief.

He felt her hand lay gently in his hair, stroking it back trying to soothe him. "I love you, Caleb," She whispered to him.

She urged him to her with her hands, bringing him back up to her. He laid down on his side facing her. He slid his hand under her head, using it to pull her to him. With her head back to him, next to his chest, listening to his heartbeat, she finally relaxed.

He pulled the sheet and blanket up over them, then pulled the rest of her to him, with his other hand. Pressed together tightly against each other, they melted together, simply listening to their breathing and heartbeats; holding on to the joy that they belonged to each other and that they weren't going to go anywhere.

Caleb pressed a final kiss to the top of her head before drifting off to sleep along with his beautiful girl, that he knew he was so lucky to have, and vowed to spend the rest of his life reminding her.


End file.
